Mascarade Ball

I was fooled by the glitter and thought it was gold
But it was worthless and I hadn't been told
He looked like a God and I fell on my knees
Praying and worshipping this figure so bold

Two fourths I did, give him my all
For longer more, did come the fall

The eyes that cured and the lips that spoke
the knees that fell and the feeling that awoke

And like a God, he too was cruel
treating his loyalist, like she were a fool

Thinking she's blind and cannot therefore see
Where his eyes wander and elsewhere can be

Endluging in those he has owned yet not
Leaving her to dissolve, to wither and rot.

Time To Pretend

Forget about reality for a minute. It's overrated anyway and it's always going to be there. So why not allow ourselves a little escape... God knows we deserve it, and most of us even earn it!

Reality would tell me that some dreams will never come true. some people will remain in dreams and never become part of a reality. some hopes won't even translate into dreams. The feeling of holding someone tight and close until they're a part of us might never be experienced except in dreams.

so while I could always face facts and live in brutal honesty... it wouldn't kill to indulge in dreams and space out and imagine things. a What If might never happen, but that's no reason to stop imagining... That's the second side of hope. Imagination.

And some things we will want so bad, so intensely and completely that we won't be able to escape imagining them to be true and praying and hoping and withering and disintegrating.

Passion is an extreme. A lethal one. But it's a hell of a ride. And it's worth every moment of excruciating pain it might cause us, because the risk also entails being euphorically happy. If things ever happen to plan.

So for now. I'm going to pretend. If for nothing else but to soothe a passion I've been trying to kill in reality. And the dreaming begins!

Attempted Poetry

Do you remember how you promised me the world and nothing less?
Do you remember how all I wanted was just a loving caress?
Do you remember how you said there would be no more pain?
Do you remember how I said that you'd drive me insane?
Do you remember how I told you, you would hurt me too?
Do you remember how it was something you said you'd never do?
Do you remember how you said you weren't like all the rest?
Do you remember how I told you, you would fail the test?

No one asked you to make promises you can't keep!
No one asked you to make me the pill that lets you sleep!
No one asked you to save my life or pretend to try
No one asked you to bring me back then leave me to die.
You forced hope onto me and made me believe,
That you were the one who would never leave.
"I'm a good man, not a saint" you told me one night
You're no good man at all, cause even they hold the light.
You think you are superhuman, and above us all in deed
But you've proved to be the most lacking, and the one in greatest need.

I curse you with ache, and tears and rage.
I curse you with a past and never a new page.
I curse you with half smiles and fake joys and such,
I curse you to never again know a woman's touch.
I curse you with eyes to never again find sleep
I curse them to shut only for you to weep!
I curse you to lose God and all his angels above
I curse you with hate, and not a single drop of love
I curse you once and twice, and may you never break free
I curse you forever- may forever never cease to be.

Breathing

You know? I'm glad things tend to go sour when you least expect them to. It's like taking singing classes. The first thing they teach you is how to breathe! Go figure! And all this time you thought you've been doing it correctly! Well think again!

Similarly, when this unexpected twist of events falls upon your oh so unsuspecting head, it's mainly because fate, God, karma, or just pure luck is interfering early on and setting you on your correct breathing track so you don't end up chocking on your own breath! (figuratively speaking- err, writing...)

And guess when will you finally notice that everything's turning out pleasantly well and just coming together? When you take your first correct, healthy, stomach full, dose of fresh air. It hits with such subtle force you feel light headed and dizzy. Like the static on a T.V. screen has moved into your ears :)

Then the breathing continues, or is disrupted and the cycle might or might not be repeated. Either way when one circle has been completed you'll feel so much better than when you first started off, sort of like those "give yourself a nice pat on the shoulder and chin up, move on" moments. And would that be such a bad thing to happen, considering you probably were withering in self-wretchedness and twisting with self-pity at some secret level? I guess not.

So... take a deep breath- and jump right back in. Life is waiting!