People. We are visual creatures. It's where the whole seeing is believing thing springs from. And I'll tell you why. It's not that we're not capable of hope, or that we like a safe bet. BUT. For most of us, we've just been through enough in life to discourage us from believing blindly and just throwing random faith in things... Particularly when that very faith proved to be unjustified, and that very thing ended up shredding us. Poor us.
Seeing is believing because even when we say we won't believe it until we see it, on the other side of that very same statement of ours is the fact that we do believe. We doubt being doubtful! How sincere we are in our characteristics. And we only hang on HARD to the opposite of believing, because we have SEEN that believing gets us nowhere, where as skepticism is a good guarantee.
It just really gives us such an incredible push. and THAT, the push I mean, you CAN see wherever you look. When you give someone a gesture of good will, a token of faith, a down frigging payment, things get done and you set things in motion. That's how trust is built. From visualization, and it is lost though de-visualization!
Exhibit A: I Trust my Boyfriend he will never cheat. I've seen him blow off girls when he didn't know i was looking.
Exhibit B: I Trust my Boyfriend. he will never cheat. oops. he sc***ed me over. trust gone. guys are shit. i'm giving up.
It's also one of the basics of marketing. You sell things by showing them to be so much better than they really are. And the difference between a good salesman and a great salesman is that only the second one can get you to imagine, believe and superimpose a picture over reality :)
And let's not forget faith! which is such a difficult thing to maintain. I mean on a regular day, pick out a random person from a religious crowd and start asking them about God. and their beliefs, actually don't ask, QUESTION them and interrogate them. They'll absent mindedly repeat things for you. and while you probably would give up on the debriefing thinking they're block headed, trust me, that very same person will feel OUTRAGED! APPALLED! how DARE that atheist ask him these infinite and intimate questions... and why couldn’t I feel a passion in my heart for it.... Why did I feel like a friggin echo chamber bouncing back statements that were stuffed and hammered into my head?
Because that person never saw to truly believe. and to the extremely religious and devout people who have seen proof or signs justifying their faith, just take a minute and ask yourself, would you still have been a firm if you had horrible losses in life? and if nothing good ever went your way? and if we throw in a few diseases, breakdowns and hmmm solitude?
And I'll go further. Any Tom, Dick or Harry will you that the best part about cooking and preparing a dish is the presentation. Because what looks good to the eye, tastes even better to the stomach. Kinda like Victoria's Secret models, preparing the ravenous men for the consumption of innocent sheep. ha! how I entertain myself. but seriously we need a little something to move on. just a little something.
I do realize that the first quote to spring to so many minds will be : blessed are thou who hath believed without seeing. and i totally agree. they are blessed.
Because, yet again. We are visual creatures. and we need to see.
You see?
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
ماذا أقول له؟
الحلو والبشع بالحياة هوي انو بغض النظر اديش نحنا حبينا او كرهنا اشيا او ناس، وبغض النظر عن اديش هلكنا وتكسرنا وتفجمنا سعياً للأفضل ويللي مش بالضرورة كان افضل شي ولكن افضل بنظرنا...
شيلو كل هالعوامل وبيبقى انو الحياة عم تتقدم وتستمر وتتغير. وهيدي اخر واحدة ركزولي عليا شوي زيادة: الحياة في حالة تغيير دائم. وهون السؤال بيطرح نفسو... كيف في ديمومة بالتغيير؟
في مرة شخص كتير عزيز عليي (لأنو القلب مشكوك ب وجودو فبالتالي اصبح هالشخص عزيز عليي ومش عا قلبي ) اي بقا هالفلان قلي شي كنت اول مرة بسمعو: التغيير هو الشي الدائم الوحيد. وهنا يا اطفالي تأتي المفاجأة ب انو اه نعم ادجل! هالغرام يللي حسيتوا ب قديم الزمان , كان... ويااااا ما كان. كان تعريف للروح وللوجود والحياة والشعور والجنون والعبثية والوحي ومن ثم تعريف العذاب و الشعور بالتغييب و الانفصال والضياع والفراغ- يعني من اكستريم لا اكستريم، هيدا كللللو بالاخر بيتغير.
بيختفي.
بيزول.
وكأنه لم يكن.
كأنو كان فكرة خرافية ما تحققت ولا تطبقت ولا حتى نكتبت عا قفا شي كرتوني ولا كان مقدرلا انو تنسمع.
وبقت فكرة ب راس أخوت مجنون. وفي حين انو من الجيد انو "الحياة تستمر وتكمل وما نوقف عند حد او حدا معين" ما فيني قول او اقبل انو هالعظمة والضخامة كلا هي الى زوال... لأنا رح تتغير بالنتيجة. لأنو رح نتغير مع الوقت ومع الحياة. ولك شو هالمصيبة؟ مين قال انو يوماً ما عنجد حا نصير اشخاص مختلفة؟ طيب ما انا بحبني هيك! عا نكهة التابسكو! وما بدي صير لا فريز ولا خردل ولا خل ولا شي... وما بدي الجبنة يللي حبيتا تصير بعدان مشمش بعلبك يللي ما استوى :( وما الحل يا ابنائي؟
الأمل... اي، في امل. نتأمل انو يوماً ما بعد سلسلة دائمة من التغيير نوصل لا مطرح نلاقي حالنا الناس يللي منحب نكونا. ونلاقي حالنا مع ناس حبينا نكونن او يكونوهن. ونلاقي حالنا نحنا بعد عمليات التغيير المتتابعة فعلاً مناح وخيرين للاخرين.
بس اهم شي انو نلاقي حالنا!
We’re just different people… خدلك بقا... هيدي جملة فيي الكثير من عدم الوفاء! عا شو جنينا؟ عا شو حبينا؟ وبكينا؟ وكتبنا؟ وغنينا؟ وبكينا؟ وبكينا؟ وشربنا؟ وكرهنا؟! وزعلنا وانقبرنا تعترنا؟ اذا بالاخر هيدا كلو subject to change و مش دايم؟
اذا بالاخر رح نرجع نوصل لنقطة او مطرح انو فينا نرجع لهالانسان يللي كان بدياتنا وقربلنا نهايتنا , ونقول -ومن كل عقلنا كمان- انو لأا! موش قادرة خلاص! اللي بينا انتهى!
اما كسرنا كؤوس الحب من زمن؟ فكيف نبكي كأساً كسرناه؟
وأهم شي... ماذا أقول له؟!!!!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Swine & Feline
OK. This is how this goes. I will describe two stereotypical characters, and you can feel free to associate people with them. And I'm sure you will.
Swine:
Will eat up anything his snout falls upon.
Not only will it eat up anything its snout falls on, it fill even relocate to take in and devour even more things- senseful or senseless!
The swine wants it all.
Is constantly surrounded by filth.
Cannot look up- literally.
Reponsible for (well they were blamed for and associated with though did not physically spread out the virus- pharmaceutical companies did that)a disease that is responsible for such destruction and pain. oh and the suffering, let's not forget the suffering.
What else is a swine associated with? Well to tell you the truth, it's only benefit is it's good in your stomach. And while some people have taken great care to breeding it into and growing it to become an expensive comodity at times, let's be reaasonable it will all end up as the same end product! The same end product it was happily swimming in during its life. HA! How Ironic- poor little piggies, didn't see that one coming huh? woke up one day and it's a whole different kind of SHI*!
AND ABOVE ALL. The Swine will end up alone. Dead, alone, food. That's what it will be if mother nature runs its course (The writer wishes to disregard external influences on the fate of a pig at this time.)
and now, the Feline:
Adorable, cuddly, has attitude, gets exactly what it wants, KNOWS what it wants.
Selfish, manipulative, prances around flaunting its adorableness like it was the savior on judgement day.
But keep it long enough and it will go in heat, screaming at you for not giving it what it wants! Then it will destroy the homeliness of your home by performing acrobatics in your living room: up the curtains, through the cords, coughing hairballs left right and center. And hissing at anything that poses a threat to it, like say anything that's taking the attention that's supposed to be its own.
BUT, fear not. The FIRST person that comes and gives it better anything than you were, and its bye bye panama for you.
So, by now you're probably wondering why the- well, "talk", of felines and swines mine dwarlings. Well, to be honest, I've had it with the stereotypes. So I was thinking what if we threw them together and created a monster?
We could call it Feswi! ok back to being serious (seriously!),
they would breed a something that would punishment in its own right. oh a girl can dream.
The thing is, when I first realized this incredibly clear association between the stereotype and so many people that have walked in and on and through and around and out of my life- yes they did a lot of walking what do you want?- it just made me feel that much better. cause maybe there are nobler animals that people can be associated with, right? PLEASE?
Anyway I hope a line goes through one and the other gets chopped up in circles.
(not quite) Over and (almost) Out.
Swine:
Will eat up anything his snout falls upon.
Not only will it eat up anything its snout falls on, it fill even relocate to take in and devour even more things- senseful or senseless!
The swine wants it all.
Is constantly surrounded by filth.
Cannot look up- literally.
Reponsible for (well they were blamed for and associated with though did not physically spread out the virus- pharmaceutical companies did that)a disease that is responsible for such destruction and pain. oh and the suffering, let's not forget the suffering.
What else is a swine associated with? Well to tell you the truth, it's only benefit is it's good in your stomach. And while some people have taken great care to breeding it into and growing it to become an expensive comodity at times, let's be reaasonable it will all end up as the same end product! The same end product it was happily swimming in during its life. HA! How Ironic- poor little piggies, didn't see that one coming huh? woke up one day and it's a whole different kind of SHI*!
AND ABOVE ALL. The Swine will end up alone. Dead, alone, food. That's what it will be if mother nature runs its course (The writer wishes to disregard external influences on the fate of a pig at this time.)
and now, the Feline:
Adorable, cuddly, has attitude, gets exactly what it wants, KNOWS what it wants.
Selfish, manipulative, prances around flaunting its adorableness like it was the savior on judgement day.
But keep it long enough and it will go in heat, screaming at you for not giving it what it wants! Then it will destroy the homeliness of your home by performing acrobatics in your living room: up the curtains, through the cords, coughing hairballs left right and center. And hissing at anything that poses a threat to it, like say anything that's taking the attention that's supposed to be its own.
BUT, fear not. The FIRST person that comes and gives it better anything than you were, and its bye bye panama for you.
So, by now you're probably wondering why the- well, "talk", of felines and swines mine dwarlings. Well, to be honest, I've had it with the stereotypes. So I was thinking what if we threw them together and created a monster?
We could call it Feswi! ok back to being serious (seriously!),
they would breed a something that would punishment in its own right. oh a girl can dream.
The thing is, when I first realized this incredibly clear association between the stereotype and so many people that have walked in and on and through and around and out of my life- yes they did a lot of walking what do you want?- it just made me feel that much better. cause maybe there are nobler animals that people can be associated with, right? PLEASE?
Anyway I hope a line goes through one and the other gets chopped up in circles.
(not quite) Over and (almost) Out.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Second Definitions
Maybe the regular words and meanings and terminologies lose sense to us when we experience them first hand. Anything from feelings to circumstances will look different when we get involved.
"I never thought x feeling was this serious!" Insecurities, shocks, heartbreak, happiness, hope, disillusionment- All of it! When someone else goes on and on about it we almost always give the "sympathetic" ear- meaning we hear or register but don't really listen. At best we just nod along or just obey our predisposition of not approving and so interrupt at intervals.
But we don't really realize by listening. We don't experience by audio, or by visual either. That's exactly why they teach us theories and force us to practice. It's like cooking; no matter how many recipes you read about preparing the same dish, if you do not re-enact the scene to try to recreate the taste, you'll never know what a pinch of salt really is!
This is why we should admit once and for all that there does in fact exist such a thing as second definitions. They are those that we reach from hand on experiences when we land in the position of trying desperately to convey a sentiment that feels so clear to us, but is just flying right over our "audience's" heads.
Think about it! How many times do tables turn between you and friends or contacts or whatever and you feel so frustrated about making a point about the obvious when it is clear that the other person is not really "getting it"? Mind you, most often than not it will be something they tried to explain and tell you about and put in words and failed miserably. (Oh the wonderful blessing of friendship :))
When your friends teach and advise you that communication is key- common sense assures it too- it probably means that the only person who will ever GET IT is the person involved. It's probably a subconscious way of saying please go mope somewhere else you're depressing us! (And you probably are, I mean come on people have enough of their own crap to deal with without you bringing in your own. And yes I know for a fact that there are friends who are so loyal they WILL give you the sympathetic ear every time. But eventually they will snap, and switch to the tough love :) TO VENT OUT YOUR FRUSTRATION!)
So get dirty, or in this case dirty mouthed. There's no need to define or second define things, it just defeats the purpose then! But speak it up and just hope that one day eventually the message you ached to get through once a while ago, is hitting home by an act of karma :)
There's hope for ya.
"I never thought x feeling was this serious!" Insecurities, shocks, heartbreak, happiness, hope, disillusionment- All of it! When someone else goes on and on about it we almost always give the "sympathetic" ear- meaning we hear or register but don't really listen. At best we just nod along or just obey our predisposition of not approving and so interrupt at intervals.
But we don't really realize by listening. We don't experience by audio, or by visual either. That's exactly why they teach us theories and force us to practice. It's like cooking; no matter how many recipes you read about preparing the same dish, if you do not re-enact the scene to try to recreate the taste, you'll never know what a pinch of salt really is!
This is why we should admit once and for all that there does in fact exist such a thing as second definitions. They are those that we reach from hand on experiences when we land in the position of trying desperately to convey a sentiment that feels so clear to us, but is just flying right over our "audience's" heads.
Think about it! How many times do tables turn between you and friends or contacts or whatever and you feel so frustrated about making a point about the obvious when it is clear that the other person is not really "getting it"? Mind you, most often than not it will be something they tried to explain and tell you about and put in words and failed miserably. (Oh the wonderful blessing of friendship :))
When your friends teach and advise you that communication is key- common sense assures it too- it probably means that the only person who will ever GET IT is the person involved. It's probably a subconscious way of saying please go mope somewhere else you're depressing us! (And you probably are, I mean come on people have enough of their own crap to deal with without you bringing in your own. And yes I know for a fact that there are friends who are so loyal they WILL give you the sympathetic ear every time. But eventually they will snap, and switch to the tough love :) TO VENT OUT YOUR FRUSTRATION!)
So get dirty, or in this case dirty mouthed. There's no need to define or second define things, it just defeats the purpose then! But speak it up and just hope that one day eventually the message you ached to get through once a while ago, is hitting home by an act of karma :)
There's hope for ya.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Gasping for Air
Take a deep breath.
Pull the covers off and stagger out.
Go through the system:
Wash, brush, gurgle, rinse, spit.
Throw myself into pretty clothes,
Pretty shoes, pretty perfume.
Pretty things to hide the disturbance.
Take a deep breath.
The Thought is still there. Always.
Drive to work, wander by passengers.
And it's all a shadow. The silhouette of truth.
Get there. Touch the desk and kiss the screen.
They know you best.
Heard so much, seen it all.
The music stands witness of the validity- of past moments.
Take a deep breath.
The thought lingers still. Always. Eminent.
Write. Work. Drink coffee.
I smoke again, now.
Breathe. Take a sharp breath.
The thought will not budge!
Go out. See friends. Drink. Smoke.
Think. Drink. Drink. Think. Think... Think.
Kiss all those lips and imagine.
Take a deep breath.
Take the thought to bed,
Fall in its sleep and dreamlessness. Disturbance.
Take a long breath. A sigh.
A gasp at the thought. The very Thought.
Repeat...
Pull the covers off and stagger out.
Go through the system:
Wash, brush, gurgle, rinse, spit.
Throw myself into pretty clothes,
Pretty shoes, pretty perfume.
Pretty things to hide the disturbance.
Take a deep breath.
The Thought is still there. Always.
Drive to work, wander by passengers.
And it's all a shadow. The silhouette of truth.
Get there. Touch the desk and kiss the screen.
They know you best.
Heard so much, seen it all.
The music stands witness of the validity- of past moments.
Take a deep breath.
The thought lingers still. Always. Eminent.
Write. Work. Drink coffee.
I smoke again, now.
Breathe. Take a sharp breath.
The thought will not budge!
Go out. See friends. Drink. Smoke.
Think. Drink. Drink. Think. Think... Think.
Kiss all those lips and imagine.
Take a deep breath.
Take the thought to bed,
Fall in its sleep and dreamlessness. Disturbance.
Take a long breath. A sigh.
A gasp at the thought. The very Thought.
Repeat...
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Fields of ****/or ****/ or ****!
Revisit. The dissociated memories coming back together at one powerfully overwhelming moment.
They hit with such force as would knock you off your feet no matter how firm you think you are or have been standing. It just takes a simple trigger. Something you never thought would link these enormous worlds you had escaped (or thought you had escaped). Just one song. Or one picture. Or a note that got stuck between your desk and the wall. The silly little things that you would deem safe enough to keep and not throw miles away from you. The harmless remains.
You do realize that music is a force that's usually under-credited, right? I mean personally I have demons dwelling in one too many songs. But being the masochist that I am I always throw myself right in their path and when I get this horribly sick and painful feeling of being micro-dissected internally at levels that fall out of the reach of modern science and operations, I stay put, swimming in this "field of mold" instead of running for the hills and playing it safe.
I can give up on people. I can give up on trying. I can even possibly give up on hoping, on fighting... But never. ever. ever. give up on feeling. It's the one true and sure thing I have. It is pure and honest and does not usually require reciprocation. Reciprocation would be much appreciated and greatly enjoyed. But it's not a precondition. At least I have the feeling itself. and it is FULL- it is complete- it has achieved 100% status and is not something uncertain that hurts others or leads both me and them blindfolded until they've wandered off the cliff to certain destruction.
The world is kind somehow. It has to be. Looking at things for the first time we reject them, we dismiss them as unfair and scream and run away and campaign and set up blogs to write about them and, and, and... But what if were to give ourselves a little bit of peace- the one found in a deep breath? Could we find other elements that have been sent to lessen the impact of painful occurrences? Why do you think there are musical prodigies? To write up a song that will pull us from drowning in misery and lead us to shore. To give us the memory that's stuck between the wall and the desk. Unlike yours truly, some things have a purpose for existing.
At least I need to have that belief for reassurance.
But always remember, that which you may be swimming happily in at a given time, collecting little harmlessnesses- memories- without knowing it, will eventually come back to haunt you at another. When that happens, brace yourself and confront it because it is a form of worship. A beautifully achingly nostalgic one.
Ain- What the heck? Here's to life.
They hit with such force as would knock you off your feet no matter how firm you think you are or have been standing. It just takes a simple trigger. Something you never thought would link these enormous worlds you had escaped (or thought you had escaped). Just one song. Or one picture. Or a note that got stuck between your desk and the wall. The silly little things that you would deem safe enough to keep and not throw miles away from you. The harmless remains.
You do realize that music is a force that's usually under-credited, right? I mean personally I have demons dwelling in one too many songs. But being the masochist that I am I always throw myself right in their path and when I get this horribly sick and painful feeling of being micro-dissected internally at levels that fall out of the reach of modern science and operations, I stay put, swimming in this "field of mold" instead of running for the hills and playing it safe.
I can give up on people. I can give up on trying. I can even possibly give up on hoping, on fighting... But never. ever. ever. give up on feeling. It's the one true and sure thing I have. It is pure and honest and does not usually require reciprocation. Reciprocation would be much appreciated and greatly enjoyed. But it's not a precondition. At least I have the feeling itself. and it is FULL- it is complete- it has achieved 100% status and is not something uncertain that hurts others or leads both me and them blindfolded until they've wandered off the cliff to certain destruction.
The world is kind somehow. It has to be. Looking at things for the first time we reject them, we dismiss them as unfair and scream and run away and campaign and set up blogs to write about them and, and, and... But what if were to give ourselves a little bit of peace- the one found in a deep breath? Could we find other elements that have been sent to lessen the impact of painful occurrences? Why do you think there are musical prodigies? To write up a song that will pull us from drowning in misery and lead us to shore. To give us the memory that's stuck between the wall and the desk. Unlike yours truly, some things have a purpose for existing.
At least I need to have that belief for reassurance.
But always remember, that which you may be swimming happily in at a given time, collecting little harmlessnesses- memories- without knowing it, will eventually come back to haunt you at another. When that happens, brace yourself and confront it because it is a form of worship. A beautifully achingly nostalgic one.
Ain- What the heck? Here's to life.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Go Let It Out
Here's a genuine thought. The whole "everything happens for a reason" logic is absolutely ridiculous.
And I'll tell you why. If it's meant to make people feel hopeful and look on the brighter side of things- IT DOESN'T!
Seriously, when we're up against a brick wall at work or our private life or anywhere else for that matter, do we honestly get the feeling of "Hmmm, yes, I'm glad I lost a multi-million dollar deal. It MUST mean that while I would have been financially better off and given my entire family security and moved up in this world, I most probably would have suffered for it"? NO- WE DON'T! If a woman is left standing at the altar, or a man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his brother or best friend or the gardner, if a couple lose a child to cancer or heart disease or have a miscarriage, if an old man loses his wife, if a kid doesn't get a bike for christmas- will they stop and look on the brighter things in life? I don't think so. I just don't believe anyone's that friggin positive and optimistic. We all hurt when we don't get what we want, and we hurt even more when we lose what we want and already had. And it friggin kills when you settle for the minimum in everything and you're humble in your expectations but hard working in pursuit AND THEN EVEN THE MINIMUM SLIPS OUT OF YOUR HANDS. Except maybe the kid with the bike. The reason in his case is money- cheap parents or hard up parents.
Everything happens for a reason. Sure it does, and the reason is for you to suffer and burn and crash. And please, all the "artist" who draw creation from their experience, well good for them, we're not all artists. We're laymen. Laymen trying to make ends meet, and the ends are similar in polarity and all the force in the world won't make them meet.
So, dear whoever came up with the "everything happens for a reason" crap, spare us the BS. And spare us your sickening dose of optimism. And while you're at it, call your friend who came up with "what doesn't kill you make you stronger" and tell him there are some of us out there who are ready to maim, hurt, dismember, neuter, and torch him, but not fatally- purely for the scientific purposes of testing the accuracy of his statement. I'd like to see how STRONGER he'd be if he becomes a blind, incapacitated quadrapligic.
BUT! We absolutely MUST and SHOULD stay positive and hope for the best. Hope for the best and plan for the worse. Yes. Because that makes sense of course. Be bi-polar in dealing with day to day events.
I shouldn't write when I'm on too much caffeine on a bad day.
And I'll tell you why. If it's meant to make people feel hopeful and look on the brighter side of things- IT DOESN'T!
Seriously, when we're up against a brick wall at work or our private life or anywhere else for that matter, do we honestly get the feeling of "Hmmm, yes, I'm glad I lost a multi-million dollar deal. It MUST mean that while I would have been financially better off and given my entire family security and moved up in this world, I most probably would have suffered for it"? NO- WE DON'T! If a woman is left standing at the altar, or a man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his brother or best friend or the gardner, if a couple lose a child to cancer or heart disease or have a miscarriage, if an old man loses his wife, if a kid doesn't get a bike for christmas- will they stop and look on the brighter things in life? I don't think so. I just don't believe anyone's that friggin positive and optimistic. We all hurt when we don't get what we want, and we hurt even more when we lose what we want and already had. And it friggin kills when you settle for the minimum in everything and you're humble in your expectations but hard working in pursuit AND THEN EVEN THE MINIMUM SLIPS OUT OF YOUR HANDS. Except maybe the kid with the bike. The reason in his case is money- cheap parents or hard up parents.
Everything happens for a reason. Sure it does, and the reason is for you to suffer and burn and crash. And please, all the "artist" who draw creation from their experience, well good for them, we're not all artists. We're laymen. Laymen trying to make ends meet, and the ends are similar in polarity and all the force in the world won't make them meet.
So, dear whoever came up with the "everything happens for a reason" crap, spare us the BS. And spare us your sickening dose of optimism. And while you're at it, call your friend who came up with "what doesn't kill you make you stronger" and tell him there are some of us out there who are ready to maim, hurt, dismember, neuter, and torch him, but not fatally- purely for the scientific purposes of testing the accuracy of his statement. I'd like to see how STRONGER he'd be if he becomes a blind, incapacitated quadrapligic.
BUT! We absolutely MUST and SHOULD stay positive and hope for the best. Hope for the best and plan for the worse. Yes. Because that makes sense of course. Be bi-polar in dealing with day to day events.
I shouldn't write when I'm on too much caffeine on a bad day.
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