Gasping for Air

Take a deep breath.

Pull the covers off and stagger out.
Go through the system:
Wash, brush, gurgle, rinse, spit.
Throw myself into pretty clothes,
Pretty shoes, pretty perfume.
Pretty things to hide the disturbance.

Take a deep breath.
The Thought is still there. Always.

Drive to work, wander by passengers.
And it's all a shadow. The silhouette of truth.
Get there. Touch the desk and kiss the screen.
They know you best.
Heard so much, seen it all.

The music stands witness of the validity- of past moments.

Take a deep breath.
The thought lingers still. Always. Eminent.

Write. Work. Drink coffee.
I smoke again, now.
Breathe. Take a sharp breath.

The thought will not budge!

Go out. See friends. Drink. Smoke.
Think. Drink. Drink. Think. Think... Think.
Kiss all those lips and imagine.

Take a deep breath.
Take the thought to bed,
Fall in its sleep and dreamlessness. Disturbance.

Take a long breath. A sigh.
A gasp at the thought. The very Thought.

Repeat...