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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Process Letter

Dear individuals,

Welcome to the global factory- the international norm for behavior where you will be fed processed information in the dozen, in compressed and concentrated amounts.

The processed information above mentioned shall range from politics and country history to random acts and facts of love and love making.

We do not support or encourage you, dear individual, to be in anyway original or an innovator. On the contrary, we at the global factory love "the box": we like you to feel comfortable within its boundaries and to never wish to rise to a level of non-boxiness. Therefore do not attempt to think outside it, or wonder what lies on the other side of its cardboard walls. The truth beyond said walls is bleak, scary, unstable and smells of burnt cabbage on Sunday afternoons!

Our Preliminary classes shall be as follows:

Mondays: False Reality and Pretense Exchange for individuals.
Tuesday: How to kill braincells 101
Wednesdays: Urban heroism and early literature
Thursdays: Faking compassion and other noble feelings.
Fridays: Recreational Activities. (These will include but not be limited to: Nap time, pheromone releasing dances, Art and Culture: Why Rembrandt Fails in modern day culture... etc A list of available attractions shall be posted up on the outside of toilet doors at the factory>)
Saturdays: Hands-on application of above mentioned courses.
Sundays: (Fornication at )the beach, clubs, family lunches, baptisms, funerals, and other such social gatherings.

Tuition will not be mandatory as we WILL be extracting the fees from your soul and life force making you a shallow miserable mono-dimensional push over or goat or bull(according to preference and disposition) so that you may fit in like a hot knife slicing through swiss butter.

For counseling do not hesitate to refer to the dummies pin-stuck to the black board.

Sincerely,

We Screw Generations Organization (WS-GO)
Highly activating member of board

L.N.

P.s.: special packages available for creative thinkers, outstanding children, artists, geniuses and other deformed individuals.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Hating On Facebook

Facebook is a social tool- the asshole way. If you log in you will first and foremost be given automatic updates about all the things no one would ever share with you in person -live and face to face.
For example I can share today's findings, one male friend is feeling nostalgic and in love-ish (mind you we haven't spoken in about a year!) two female friends are suffering and being crucified emotionally thus resorting to a plank from the olden stable days- a song that's extremely haunting and pure!

And I'm not any better either! It is a social tool that's double ended since it keeps everybody involved in everybody's business and stories.(Haha- our social life depends on the double point of the double ended TOOL. how ironic) But the greater part of us social beings, all alien like and hairy, needs to feel solidarity. Meaning we need to share. Yes we have to vent out one way or the other. And for all the Pisces and Virgos out there who pride themselves of being bottled up and shareless,I say unto them: Reflect onto thine lives. Have you not shared and shared again songs and pictures and abstract words on the so called wall of your book of face? And keeping that in mind I was so easily able to tell what state of mind they are in, and ohhhh the frustration, the bullshit, the acting and the parade people fall in.... And the hope.


Hoping that someone will see and experience whatever the hell you can't quite put in words, or can put in perfect words: Booboo is feeling sick, I am the king of the world, John Smith Scored Pocahontas, and many such thrilling and mentally exciting announcements that most of us would be clueless about, if it wasn't for the tool that is. But at the end it's reassuring for us to know that this feeling got through. Even if in a distorted form or another. We want to be heard. And we want to be heard out loud!

Yes we do. And if anyone tries to deny this by saying they don't use facebook that often- well, oh really? Why are you on it then?! Just to keep in touch with friends? To be able to post on your group? So you can spy on your friends? So you can never be called outdated and old fashioned? AHA! To SHARE: share and take part of the social media tidal wave (now available in (Saudi)ArabiC - for my personal misery, but that's a different story), keep people updated on your band/work/gallery/store's news... yes yes and yes- to be heard...

The only people I know who are not on facebook are either ex-users who wanted and longed for the QUIET. Or people whose lives are already loud enough that they can't be bothered to add more to their already flamboyant (did I just type that word?) raging noise.

So I guess Facebook is a social tool, and like all tools it can be useful- especially from a marketing perspective, it's like the one TV Channel everybody always has on. or almost everybody. That's why as I mentioned earlier, we want to be heard on this channel and we want to be heard out loud. But sometimes it just gets so annoying for quite a few of us (no, I'm not talking about my multiple characters here) to have to know that someone's dog got stampled by their grandmother's wheel chair, that someone is sitting at a beach while we're slaving like idiots, that someone's slaving somewhere else on our day off, and that our day off is not as great as someone else's in Miami. So yes. Facebook, here's to hating on you!

Oh, and you can shove your "privacy policy" up the pipe.

Much love :)